Life is so separate from anything secret. We try as we might to live the lives we want, the way we want. Believing them unique. For good reason, they feel like we are. I don't know what is more desirable. To live a life in which you see and feel everything with out ever being self conscious. Or to be able to judge with certainty. one way is full of enormous cliches, but seems fulfilling. the other is a question mark, only ever feeling right when correctly aligned with desire.
I walked very far to find the best hippest place to eat breakfast. In which the waiter is just rude enough, and every patron has a story to tell. Best eggs Benedict ever. It must be so amazing here in the winter, so cold, so white. Its funny how hard I try and figure life out, with out a proper education. It's there 400 year celebration right now, lots of tourists, lots of flags.
I don't know why it felt so easy a couple years ago. Just making a little money and spending it at the whim of pleasures. While now i feel unrewarded by actions, and missing out on much of what life has to offer. Like kids, not even kids, but the responsibility of them.
Everywhere it is the same, they all talk about the weather, and every once in awhile someone reminds you of someone from your past. Giving you a feeling of comfort. It's easy to know the right answer, its much harder to feel it. I feel like every time i write these days, it's a cross between a suicide note, and a 10th grade experimental poem. Ce La Vie. Who will they build statues of now?
currently listening to Lil Wayne.
