Playa Me

Playa Me
Originally uploaded by Pillow Hunter.

I don't really sleep you see. The girl brought all kinds of demons and peoples into my bed. Sure no problem, right before I fly to a different country in the morning. Man I really need this sleep, why did she come over again? Oh yeah the ride to the airport.
So the way it is, is well I want to leave because of Valentines day, that's my excuse, I want away from the whole fucking idea. I want the people and their loves for chocolate to just keep to themselves. But the moment I get on that plane, I was sure I was going to miss, I realize that I could actually die in Mexico, because I am running so scared. And not just loneliness scared. Scared that when the people look at me, they are looking at a ghost. Scared I don't know what my next move is, I just sit and wait, sit and wait, "would you like a drink and peanut's sir". Yes a coke please.
The couple sitting in seat A&B were acting bubbly, and talking like kids in love. She is 2 years younger then I am. I saw her passport. And he must be 15 years older then me. But hey they are a couple, and for the life of me I couldn't get her to fall asleep on my shoulder instead of his. But that's because I might have been the creepiest decent looking man anyone has ever sat next too on a plane. Except of course when I was watching Southpark and giggling to myself.
When I land in Cancun, I pretty much am completely out of touch with simple conversation skills. Yeah, like trying to speak Spanish like I know the language, is the best of my problems at this point. And when I get past "Ola", then they respond speaking Spanish and I just shake my head up and down. Aside from survival mode when a taxi driver tries to hustle me, I'm completely wandering around the airport looking for a sign. There it is, a bus that has the name of my ex-girlfriends name on its destination placard. I ask if this bus also goes to Tulum. The driver say's after I transfer in Playa del (ex-girlfriend). Sweet I feel like I found my way. Yeah right, my way of sitting right down beside a fifteen year old reading a book in Spanish, sitting there in a mini skirt and no breasts; because she is fifteen! My "way" friends, has just been utterly destroyed by me praying to save this little sister I found. Prayers only questioned by maybe she's older and just looks really really young. I put on my iPod she puts on hers. I look out the window at the new place and strange ways. My sickness is more then just the cold I'm trying to get over. Why did I come to this country, I swore the last time I was in Mexico I would never come back.
This is when it gets bad folks, I just need to get some sleep, and I just need to get to morning and the beach. But I have no idea where I am, in body, mind, or spirit. I switch buses; I can't look anyone in the eye anymore. I wish I knew this language. Physically, I'm starting to sweat and feel like a death flu is headed straight at my skull. A crazy person is drumming his legs behind me, I can't even pretend to sleep on this ride. It feels like I'm going in to a darker and darker world. It's so dark at night in this place, except for the giant all-inclusive hotel signs the bus drives by now and again. I'm in the back of the bus, right next to the biggest air conditioner, that sprits out drops of water on my head. I am supposed to be looking outside the window for this hostel a friend told me about. The Lobo inn, Lobo is a marvel super hero, he's a vulgar cosmic biker that rips peoples heads off. Finally I see it, the bus just keeps going and going, and into town. I want off, I want sustenance's, and goodness to run through my veins again. Then like so many times before when all seems lost, and I am sure of death in the form of madness is to take me away, an angel appears. She was sitting in the front of the bus, we get off together, and she looks like she knows were she's going. I on the other hand am crossing the street away from her so she doesn't realize I'm following her. Why you ask? Because when it feels like at any moment you will loose your life in some horrific accident in Mexico. You grab onto any light you can. As I walked, keeping a watchful eye on the angel up a block on the left. I saw a sexy couple from the plane eating at an Argentine restaurant. I almost stop to eat, but hunger doesn't matter at this point and I decide against it. Thus my walk continues through downtown Tulum, about a mile into it I feel like I should walk to this hostel I've heard good things about. I realize that I don't have a real place to stay yet, and I better figure some things out. Since it's after nine at night and the city isn't a 24-hour party place, more like a swim all day, eat, drink, and sleep place. Just then I realize that the girl I thought to follow to save my soul goes into a market. Two choices buddy-o, keep walking to a hostel your not even sure has a bed, or pop into the store to buy things, when really you just need serious mental help, I mean security. Finally after a mango, avocado, and a piece of bread, I give up leave the market, and start a long dark walk alone. Now to get a picture of what I was about to walk through, just imagine a two-lane highway, and the lights from the motorist's headlights are the only light around, aside from the stars. This stretch of road along either side is jungle, and darkness. So at first walking towards the on coming traffic on the edge of the road, only works for about five minutes, before obvious dangers are apparent. I decide after seeing a side dirt road that might be the better way to travel. Which really aside from strange sounds, and the bright glowworms, was a good way to walk through whatever loneliness I was running away from back home.
The man at the hostel was welcoming, and showed me to my dear needed bed. To my surprise, the angel is sitting on it, eating a tomato and cheese sandwich, halfway finished, she asks if I want the rest. Just as I thought this old amigo's lights were about to fade, I'm saved, right back into life, ready for some sun burning and swimming, full swing ahead their kiddo.